I always thought I knew who I was.

I was a wife, a mother, and I loved my children more than anything. But as my marriage became more unhealthy, I started to lose something I didn’t even realize was slipping away—myself.

One day, I took my kids on a walk around the block. They ran ahead, pausing to marvel at an ant carrying something three times its weight and a worm burrowing into the earth. Normally, I would have smiled at their curiosity. But that day, I felt nothing. Not happiness. Not sadness. Just… emptiness. That realization shattered me. I went home and cried—not because I was sad, but because at least crying made me feel something.

I didn’t know how I had drifted so far from myself, but I knew I wanted to find my way back.

The Moment That Changed Everything

After my divorce, I started therapy to navigate the changes in my life. During one session, my therapist asked me a simple question:

"If you were to order a pizza just for yourself, what would you get?"

Without thinking, I answered, “Jenna likes cheese, and TJ likes pepperoni, so I’d get a half and half.”

She looked at me for a moment before saying, “That’s what your kids like, but what about you?”

I sat there in silence. I had no idea.

That moment hit me hard. I had spent so long prioritizing everyone else’s needs that I had lost touch with my own. My therapist told me, “If you don’t take care of yourself, you’re going to run out of you to give to your children.”

That was the shift. I realized that self-care wasn’t selfish—it was necessary.